A Beautiful & Bumpy Life
by 6footer
Summary: Post-Finale. Ryan's life in college and after. Trials and smiles create beautiful and bumpy memories. The life that i imagine for Ryan and the Cohens. This used to be titled Goodbyes but after a few reviews asking for more from this world, I decided to go for it. Hope you like it and please always READ and REVIEW :)) Thank you!
1. Goodbyes1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C. or it's characters.**

**Hey guys! I've been wanting to write a new one on here for awhile and finally did it, i knocked this one out pretty quickly. It's a short one but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope you like it! Please review!**

Ryan didn't think it would affect him like it did; he didn't expect it to hit him the way it did. Ryan was at work on a Wednesday morning when he received the call from Trey, which was unexpected in its self.

Ryan had spoken to Trey a few times over the years but hadn't seen him since Trey left on a bus to Las Vegas. From what Ryan could tell from the phone conversations; it seemed as though Trey was trying to get his life together, he had the same steady job each time Ryan talked to him, at least that is what Trey had told him. The talks over the phone weren't anything long or special, just the usual "how's life" stuff, the same old Atwood small talk. Ryan had invited Trey to his wedding but he hadn't showed up. Ryan was a little disappointed, but after a few glances at Sandy and Kirsten's proud smiles, Seth standing beside him and his beautiful bride standing in front of him, pushed away the disappointment.

That day though, when Trey called, Ryan knew it wasn't a casual call, it was business; Dawn business.

"She's dead, Ry," after those words left Trey's mouth, Ryan froze, Trey was saying other things but Ryan couldn't hear him; he couldn't hear anything.

"How?" Ryan whispered, though he already knew the answer.

"What else? Drugs," Trey replied. Trey then said something about cremation and meeting up to properly mourn.

Ryan hung up and looked at his watch; it was close to lunch time. "Thank god," Ryan thought, he really needed air. He grabbed his stuff, quickly said something to his secretary and then left.

Once outside, he let himself fall onto the nearest bench. Ryan felt like he had been hit by a ton of bricks, he didn't really understand why; sure Dawn was his mother or at least the woman who gave birth to him. Dawn hadn't been his mother in sometime, he hadn't even seen her since his high school graduation and only talked to her a few times in the last eight years. She had been the same as always, some days she was clean and nice, other days she was drunk and mean. She was still the same Old Dawn, still screwed up and never cut out to be a mom.

Ryan knew this day would come, obviously, he just wasn't ready for it; wasn't ready for his reaction. But who was ever.

As Ryan sat, catching his breath and thinking about Dawn, he also found himself thinking about Kirsten. Kirsten was his mom in every way but blood. Ryan wasn't exactly sure when he really started considering her as that. Ryan started to think about how different Dawn and Kirsten were; one weak the other strong, one selfish the other selfless, one a taker the other a giver. They were opposite women; Dawn a drunk and a druggy, Kirsten a wonderful mother and wife.

Though they were opposites, there was a short period of time where they were the same, when Kirsten's strength faltered and she let herself slip to alcohol. But even then, Ryan knew they weren't really the same because Kirsten got help; she wanted to get better and Dawn never did. Kirsten had accepted the help and beat alcohol, promising to always be there for her boys. Dawn didn't care about her boys, at least not more than she cared about herself. Kirsten would put herself on the line for her family; Dawn would put… _did put_ her family on the line for herself.

Ryan loved Dawn, he did, because she was his mother but he loved Kirsten more because she chose to be his mom.

Ryan pulled out his phone.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?" Kirsten answered like always.

"Hey, are you busy?" Ryan perked up a bit, putting his mask on.

"A little, I'm taking your sister to dance class. Is something wrong?" Kirsten asked.

"Uh… no, I was just wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch, but I forgot it was dance day, I'll let you go, give Soph a hug for me."

"Sorry, honey, rain check," Kirsten could tell that something was wrong with Ryan but she shook it off, hoping that he would come to them when he was ready.

"Sure, yeah, talk to ya later," Ryan said and then hung up,

Ryan sighed and looked at his watch again; it'd been fifteen minutes since he hung up with Trey, since he got the news.

Ryan knew if he had told Kirsten that everything was not okay, she would have rushed right over, and that's why he didn't. He didn't want to interrupt her day; Sophie really loved dance and Kirsten loved watching her. He didn't need to ruin their day even though all he wanted was her. He needed his mom after hearing of his mother's death but he still couldn't bring himself to bother her. On normal days, Ryan was to the point that he didn't feel like he was bothering her or he didn't care if he did but on that day, his emotions were all over the place.

Ryan pulled out his phone again but this time called his wife.

Ryan met Emma Charlotte Lincoln, his second year at Berkley, a few months after he split up with Taylor. Ryan hadn't been looking for a relationship but he never really did. They always found him, usually in the form of a damsel in distress. But Emma was no damsel, if anything, Ryan was. He had been running late to class when some kid, equally late, ran into him. Ryan's books went everywhere and he fell back on his behind. Ryan sat fuming for a minute before hauling himself up, once up, he was mumbling about the jerk that plowed him over. When he looked up, Emma was standing, holding his books and smiling. She had a beautiful smile that Ryan fell in love with then and there. Emma herself was beautiful with short brown hair and brown eyes; she was a nursing major from Seattle. It had been a month before they started dating and two years before they married. They've been married four years now and have a two year old son with a baby girl on the way.

"Hey Babe," Emma sounded so happy when she answered, Ryan loved her so much.

"Hey, how are you? How are your parents? Is Ian having fun?" Ryan put his mask up again.

Emma had left Monday with two year old, Ian, to go visit her parents in Seattle for a week, and Ryan missed them both a bunch and even more with Trey's news.

"They're great, we're having fun, I miss you though so does Ian. He's taking a nap right now but I wish he was awake because he would love to talk to you. How are you? How's work?" Emma reminded Ryan of both Seth and Summer, she could talk as much as Seth and was a strong woman that could light up a room like Summer.

"I've been better… I… uh… Trey called me today," Ryan started.

"Yeah? What did he say?" Emma never met Trey or Dawn but she knew well enough that a call from either of them could be good or bad and by the sound of Ryan's voice, it was bad.

"He called to tell me… to tell me that Dawn is dead… she overdosed," Ryan sighed.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Emma gasped, "I'm gonna get the first flight out, we're coming."

"No, no stay, have fun… I don't want to ruin your vacation. There's no funeral, Trey's getting her cremated, then we're gonna meet and spread her ashes… stay, really I'm okay," Ryan said hurriedly.

"No way, babe, you don't sound okay and I want to be there for you, I need to be there, no arguments," Emma said right away.

"Please, Em, really," Ryan said again.

"Ryan, I said no arguments, your mom just died, you're my husband, we're your family, we're coming, end of story. Dad is already looking at flights. Have you told your parents? Seth?" Emma declared like Kirsten would.

"No, not yet, they're busy," Ryan replied.

"Not too busy for this, Ryan, call them, you need someone until I can get there. You shouldn't be alone."

"Alright."

"Call them or I will," Emma stated clearly.

"Yeah, okay, I will," Ryan couldn't help but chuckle at how much his wife sounded like Kirsten.

"Okay, I'll call you when I have a flight. I love you," Emma said, satisfied.

"I love you too, Em," Ryan said and hung up.

Ryan looked at his watch again and then his phone, he hesitated a moment before placing it in his pocket and heading back inside, he would call Sandy and Kirsten later. Ryan had lost his appetite so he just went back to his office.

Ryan tried to focus on work the rest of the afternoon, but he was having so much trouble that he decided to leave early. He had a two o'clock meeting that he had to be at but after it, he planned to leave. On days like this, Ryan really liked being his own boss.

Ryan had opened his own architecture firm three years ago with his best friend from college, Noah Walker. Sandy and Kirsten had helped them a little in the beginning to get them on their feet. The firm had been a big success after some persuading; Ryan finally got to pay the Cohens back for something.

Ryan went to his meeting; they signed a new client contract and were happy.

"We sure do make a great team, Ry," Noah said as he clapped Ryan on the back and smiled.

Ryan nodded, "sure do."

"Are you alright? You seem off?" Noah asked, he had picked up on his friend's demeanor before the meeting but decided not to say anything until after.

Noah was his best friend, aside from Seth; they had been roommates all through college and even after until Ryan married Emma. At first, they were just roommates but soon Noah became a great fill-in for Seth when he wasn't able to talk to his brother. Not that Noah was like Seth because that wasn't the case at all, he was quite the opposite. Noah was more like Luke then Seth; he was tall, athletic, blonde hair, blue eyes, tan complexion and built like a football player. Ryan found himself a few times thankful that he never fought Noah like he did Luke; Noah would have kicked his ass easily.

Noah Walker grew up in Texas, playing football and working his dad's ranch; he was as tough as nails. Noah was the second of four children; three boys and a girl, his dad is a fifth generation rancher and his mom is a vet; they had thousands of acres and hundreds of horses and cattle. When Noah told his parents that he wanted to go to college in California and that he wanted to be an architect not a rancher, his dad was a little disappointed but he understood and supported him. Noah always said it helped that his two brothers wanted to work the ranch, his dad just wanted one of his sons to keep the ranch so he would accept the fact that they all didn't want to.

Unlike Seth and like Ryan, Noah was quick to listen, not talk. Noah and Ryan never felt the need to fill the silence with useless jibber jabber. They talked; they just didn't have to talk nonstop. Noah knew when something was wrong with Ryan; he could read Ryan a lot like Sandy could. But Noah usually waited until Ryan was ready to talk, he just silently let Ryan know that he was there when he was ready and if Ryan didn't want to talk, Noah didn't push it. But Ryan was a different kind of quiet that day; he had never seen Ryan like that.

"Just got some bad news today, that's all," Ryan shrugged, as they walked.

"Bad news? Is everything okay? Emma? The baby? The Cohens? What is it?"

"No, no, they're all fine… I just got a call from my brother, Trey not Seth, my mom overdosed and died," Ryan explained.

"Aw man, I'm sorry, buddy," Noah said sadly. It had taken Noah awhile to get Ryan's family straight and sometimes he forgot that Ryan hadn't always been a Cohen. Sandy had filled him in on Ryan's old family one night, early in their friendship when Dawn had Ryan upset and broody. Noah didn't know them but he knew enough to know that he didn't like them, not the way they messed up Ryan. He could always tell when Ryan had talked to Trey or Dawn because his eyes became dark and he seemed to shut down a little bit.

"Anything I can do?" Noah asked.

"Thanks bud, but no, I'm okay. Trey is taking care of everything. Em is flying home; she has a flight first thing in the morning… I'm gonna head home though, I can't focus so I'm not getting any work done anyway," Ryan said with a small smile.

"Alright, but come to dinner tonight, you shouldn't be alone, we'll grill out… Aubrey has to work tonight so it will just be us," Noah encouraged.

"No thanks, I'm just gonna hang out at home tonight, it'll be fine," Ryan waved him off.

Noah knew arguing with Ryan, wouldn't help so he just nodded.

"If you need anything, just call ok?"

Ryan nodded with a grateful smile and headed to his office while Noah went to his.

"Any messages, Lucy?" Ryan asked his secretary.

"Yes… Mr. Cohen, I mean Seth, called and he wants you to call him as soon as possible and Mike Lee from the WPF site called about wrong beams, do you want me to give it to Mr. Walker since you are leaving?" When Lucy first started working for Ryan when they started the firm, she had trouble differentiating between the Cohen men when they called and it became pretty confusing for Ryan.

"No, I'll stop there on my way home but forward all my calls to Noah and Mr. Banks then if there is nothing else, you are free to go," Ryan said looking at Lucy's notes.

"Yes, there is one thing, Kirsten is in your office," Lucy said with a smile, over the last three years Lucy had become a good friend, part of the group.

"Ugh… you should have started with that," Ryan sighed and turned to his office door.

Lucy laughed quietly as she gathered up her things and Ryan entered his office.

"Kirsten? What are you doing here?" Ryan asked even though he knew the answer.

Kirsten was standing at the window, looking out at the city but when she heard Ryan enter, she turned and rushed to him; eloping him in a hug.

Ryan gave up his mask and embraced her back, clinging to her. He still had her; she was still there for him. They stayed that way for a few minutes, Ryan burying his face in Kirsten's shoulder and Kirsten apologizing softly into his hair. Ryan finally pulled away, wiping at his eyes as he took a step back.

"Ryan James, you should have told me, I would have been here in a second. Emma knew you wouldn't call me, so she did, I'm glad she did. I knew there was something up when you called earlier, why didn't you tell me? You should have told me," Kirsten chided.

"I know but you were busy with Sophie, I didn't want to bother you," Ryan said and then realized that his little sister was nowhere to be seen, "Where is Sophie?"

"She's at a friend's house for the night… you wouldn't have bothered me, you never bother me, sweetie. I'm always here, whenever you need me," Kirsten said sweetly.

"I know, just today is so messed up, my emotions are so out of whack, I just forgot for a little bit," Ryan suddenly felt like a sixteen year old kid again.

"I understand, honey," Kirsten said and hugged him again.

"What are you doing now?" Kirsten asked when she pulled away.

"I have to stop at a work site then I'm going home," Ryan replied, moving to is desk to gather his things and log off his work computer.

"Wrong, you're stopping by the site, going home to change and then coming to the house for dinner, I know Emma will be home tomorrow but tonight you're not sitting home alone. End of discussion," The Kirsten had spoken and like Noah; Ryan knew there was no use arguing.

Ryan just nodded and Kirsten smiled.

"Great, see ya at home," Kirsten said triumphantly, she turned to leave but then turned back, hugging Ryan once again, "I love you, Ryan and I'm sorry about Dawn."

"I love you too," Ryan whispered.

"If you're not to the house by six, I'm sending your father after you," Kirsten smiled.

"I'll be there," Ryan laughed.

"You better be," Kirsten said and then left.

Ryan shook his head and laughed as he finished up. Ryan went to the work site but was only there about ten minutes, the crew had the right beams; they were just trying to put them in the wrong place.

After leaving the site, he pulled out his phone to call Seth back, "Hey, what's up?" Ryan said when Seth answered.

"Hey… uh… Emma called me… I'm sorry about your mo… Dawn… how ya doing?" Seth stumbled over his words, never good under pressure.

"Thanks, buddy, I'm fine," Ryan replied, shaking his head at his wife who called his brother who lived 3000 miles away.

"Sure, you are, that's what I told Emma, you would say," Seth sighed.

"It wasn't like she was really around anyway," Ryan shrugged.

"Yeah, true, but at least she was around somewhere, now she isn't around at all."

Ryan nodded like Seth could see him, "yeah, I guess."

"So my flight leaves tomorrow at 10 am, my time, 7am your time, it's a 3 and half hour flight," Seth said, shocking Ryan.

"Wait! What? Why? You don't need to come, I'm fine."

"Who says I'm coming for you, maybe I'm coming to see the parents and the Sophster or my favorite nephew… Jeez, Ryan, way to be selfish, I mean-"

"Seth!" Ryan interrupted.

"Alright, yeah for you, I'm sure you need some good old Seth/Ryan time," Seth caved.

"Seth, I told you, I'm fine."

"Yeah you did, bro, but the problem is… I don't believe you… plus you'll need someone to fend off our hovering mother and your worried wife. The Litigator and The Bear can't do it by themselves, The Ice Queen and The EmCo are too powerful; you need some help from the Ironist," Seth explained in Atomic County talk and Ryan shook his head. Since meeting and getting to know Noah and Emma, Seth added them as The Bear because Noah reminded Seth of a big grizzly, in the comic Seth gives Noah the strength of a bear with the ability to rip anything apart. EmCo has the power to make people think whatever she wants.

"What about Summer and the girls?" Ryan tried one last time.

Summer and Seth had married three years ago when Summer finished traveling with GEORGE. Summer still works for GEORGE just doesn't travel much anymore, she mostly works in their office in New York, setting up the protests and the cities that the bus tour goes. Seth and Summer welcomed twin girls, Grace and Elle, a year ago, Seth was actually handling it better then Ryan ever thought he would.

"Ryan… it's Summer, we both know she will be fine without me… if anything Summer takes care of me, she'll be fine… she's the one that got me the flight," Seth laughed.

"Alright, I gotta go, I'll see ya tomorrow," Ryan sighed.

"See ya, bro."

Ryan went inside his house, sighing heavy but then smiling; he had one hell of a family. A family that he was so incredibly grateful for.

Ryan changed his clothes and then cleaned up a bit, preparing for his wife's arrival the next day. He left the house forty five minutes later.

He arrived at Sandy and Kirsten's at 5:30; he let himself in and headed for the kitchen, where Kirsten was waiting.

"What? I'm not late," Ryan shrugged and smiled.

"I know, I'm just glad you're here," Kirsten smiled and hugged him.

"Wait, I'm pretty sure dinner here was not optional, because you said that if I didn't show, you would send Sandy for me. Where is Sandy?"

Kirsten laughed.

"I'm here, was just changing my clothes… we couldn't leave you to brood at home all alone," Sandy said from behind Ryan, he hadn't been home long, just long enough to change out of his suit and into a sweat shirt and jeans.

Ryan turned to him and Sandy pulled him into a tight embrace. Ryan returned it, laying his head on Sandy's shoulder as Kirsten watched the embrace from behind Ryan.

"I'm sorry, kid," Sandy whispered into Ryan's hair.

Ryan nodded against him and tried to pull away but Sandy held him for a moment longer.

"For the record, I do not brood," Ryan said quietly.

"Honey, I love you, but you brood," Kirsten laughed.

"I do not… anymore anyway," Ryan said seriously but then smiled.

"Whatever you say, kid," Sandy laughed, heading for the fridge and grabbing a beer out for himself and Ryan.

Ryan nodded his thanks.

Ryan and the two elder Cohens ate dinner and talked but not about Dawn, they saved that for after dinner. The three of them cleaned up and then headed out to the back deck.

"So what'd Trey say?" Sandy asked once they were settled.

Ryan explained what Trey had told him.

"When was the last time you talked to her?" Kirsten asked.

Ryan didn't answer right away, he had to think about it, "a year ago, she called on Ian's first birthday, not that she knew that it was; she didn't even know that Ian existed until that day. She'd been clean though."

Sandy nodded, "I remember you telling me about that, she had just moved back to Chino, right?"

Ryan nodded.

"How are you really doing, sweetie?"

Ryan shrugged.

"Ryan?" Sandy prompted, like normal.

"I don't know… I'm a mess, like I said, way out of whack. My emotions are sad, relieved, hate and a whole lot of others. Sad, because she was my mother, sure she was never there for me, never really my mom but I did love her as much as I wished I hadn't. I'm relieved too, because I don't have to worry about her anymore, I won't be wondering where she is or if she is okay. I won't have to worry about her screwing up my life or hurting my family with her words. Hate, because she gave up, she abandoned her children yet again and yet again she was only thinking of herself. Grateful too, because she isn't feeling any pain anymore, she is free from her boyfriends and most of all, herself. Grateful that my children won't ever have to know her and they won't be deprived of anything because they already have two sets of grandparents that love them and awful lot." Ryan sighed, "I Just have a whole lot of emotions going on all at once and it's all a little overwhelming." He hadn't looked at the Cohens at all but just stared out at Sophie's swing set.

"All justified, kid, that's for sure," Sandy said and patted Ryan's leg.

"Like I told Seth, she wasn't really around anyway, the only difference is that I won't get phone calls every few years, can't really say I'll miss them," Ryan shrugged.

"Yes, but even though you didn't see her or talk to her everyday it's still gonna be different, because she isn't in Chino, she's not here at all," Sandy said.

Ryan nodded, "That's what Seth said too… I'm just not sure right now if I miss her or if I will ever miss her. She hasn't been around in a long time, I'm not even sure if I missed her then, it'll take time because right now, I'm just not exactly sure how I feel."

"We're here, kid, you know that, whenever you need us, we're here," Sandy said.

"I know, guys, that's one thing I'm sure about and definitely thankful for. I definitely found a little bit of luck that day in Juvie, never in a million years did I think that my bushy browed lawyer would become the man I consider my father," Ryan laughed when Sandy smacked him softly in the back of the head, "Seriously though, thank you for taking a chance on me and putting up with me all these years, I know I haven't exactly made it easy for you," Ryan replied and then took a drink of his beer.

"Our pleasure, sweetie, we wouldn't change any of it… well, okay, maybe some of it. But we wouldn't change you, honey. We love you! You are our son. Thank you for letting us help," Kirsten said with tears in her eyes.

"You know, you guys are my parents' right, even though I don't call you mom and dad, you've been my parents for a long time now, you'll always be. Today when I got the call, all I could think about was how Dawn wasn't my mom anymore and how different you two are from Dawn and Frank. How thankful I am for that," Ryan was feeling too emotional tonight.

Sandy had tears and Kirsten was full on crying, Ryan smiled shyly.

"Thanks, kid," Sandy said, patting Ryan on the back.

"Thank you, sweetie, we know all that but it's nice to hear," Kirsten said wiping at her eyes.

They talked for awhile more about Dawn or Seth or nothing at all. They sat quietly not speaking at all for a few, each thinking about the events of the day, they stayed quiet until Ryan's phone rang; Emma was calling so Ian could say good night. Ryan talked to Emma and Ian while Kirsten and Sandy watched from the deck. Ryan didn't stay much longer after hanging up with Emma. He promised his parents that he wouldn't brood and that he would see them in the morning.

Ryan went home, turned on "Over the Top" but he had to admit he wasn't really watching it. He couldn't focus on anything. Ryan changed into a wife beater and sweats and then went out to the garage where his punching bag hung. He taped his hands but didn't slide on his gloves; he wanted to feel the punches tonight. He ended up going at the bag for over an hour and then took a nice long hot shower. Ryan knew he wouldn't be sleeping that night.

**Review please! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Goodbyes2

**Last chapter, I told you it was a short one ;) Read and Review!**

Ryan left at 7am to pick up Emma and Ian, when he saw them, he couldn't help but hold then tight for a few moments, not letting go until Ian whined.

"I love you," Ryan whispered to Emma before letting go.

"I love you too, Mumble," Emma smiled and then kissed him.

Ryan laughed at the nickname that Emma had given him shortly after they started dating. She first called him that when she realized just how much he mumbled. Ryan only allowed her to call him that, the first time Noah tried he got a sideways glare that shut him up and the first time Seth tried; he received a punch in the arm.

"Guess who we're gonna see today, little man?" Ryan asked, tickling Ian.

"Who? Who?" Ian asked, laughing with excitement.

Ryan laughed at his son, he loved him so much. Ian looked like a mini Ryan but he had the personality of Emma. He was a ball of joy and nonstop energy.

"Grandpa and Grandma and Uncle Seth," Ryan whispered in Ian's ear and then two year old hollered in excitement.

Ian loved his grandpa Sandy the most; he was definitely his favorite next to his daddy. He loved his grandma too, because she always made him cookies and he loved how funny his Uncle Seth was.

Ryan spent the next four days with his family, not minding all the attention on him, not that he loved it but he didn't hate it. Saturday, Seth had drug Ryan, Sandy and Ian to the comic book store where he bought each of them the new edition of Atomic County, making Ryan promise not to give Ian his until he was older. When Ian could truly understand its greatness and respect it, that made for a very unhappy Ian which Seth fixed with the purchase of "The Ironist" action figure. Once the nerds in the store realized that Seth was "The Seth Cohen", the other three Cohen men were pushed to a corner while Seth signed autographs and answered questions.

"Who would have thought," Sandy said looking at Ryan who was shaking his head in disbelief.

Seth left Sunday to go back to New York and his girls. Ryan went back to work Monday but was checked on by phone by Kirsten and Emma. Noah made it a point to find something that he needed to discuss with Ryan so he could see how he was doing without it looking too extremely obvious. Noah even took him to lunch.

Tuesday morning, Trey called again to let him know it was done and to discuss what they wanted to do. They decided to meet Thursday in Chino and then drive to the coast and spread her ashes in the ocean.

Sandy had wanted to go with him but he had winter finals so he couldn't get away. Emma had to work and couldn't get off since she just took her vacation to Seattle. Kirsten couldn't go because she had Sophie and she watched Ian while Emma worked. Noah even tried but someone had to run the firm. Ryan wouldn't let anyone know it but he sort of wished that one of them could have gone with him. But he just took a deep breath and got over it making the long haul down to his old life.

Thursday night, Ryan found the nicest hotel in Chino, not meeting Trey until Friday morning. Trey had hugged him right away, Ryan slowly returned it and let go pretty quickly.

"How ya doing, bro?" Trey asked when they stepped back.

"Fine, you?" Ryan asked with his hands in his pockets and his walls up.

Years ago, Trey had been the one person Ryan was the most comfortable around, the one person he trusted the most. But that was all different now. Trey was more of a stranger these days then he was his brother. Trey was an Atwood through and through, Ryan was a Cohen now, he believed that he was never meant to be an Atwood, he was meant to be a Cohen it just took a little longer to get there. Ryan knew that if he was born a Cohen, he wouldn't appreciate what he had as much as he does by being born an Atwood and then becoming a Cohen.

"Alright, I can't believe she's really gone, can't believe it finally happened. It finally got the best of her," Trey said not making eye contact with Ryan.

Ryan just nodded, "You ready to go?"

Trey nodded and followed Ryan to his car.

Ryan drove the hour to Newport while Trey made small talk.

"So you're married huh? Who's the lucky chick?" Trey asked.

"Four years ago and my _wife's_ name is Emma, I'm the lucky one," Ryan said shortly.

"Sorry, I didn't make it to the wedding… I… uh-"

"I don't want to hear your excuses," Ryan cut him off.

Trey nodded and was quiet for awhile after that.

The two of them threw Dawn's ashes in the Pacific with a moment of silence and then drove back to Chino. They found the bar that their mom worked at a few times over the years and had a couple drinks in honor of their alcoholic mother.

"That your kid?" Trey asked pointing to Ryan's picture of Ian when Ryan pulled out his wallet to pay their tab.

Ryan nodded, "Ian Sandford Cohen, he's two… we have a baby girl due in March."

Trey nodded, "Cohen, huh?"

"Save it, Trey, I don't want to hear it… the Cohens have been my family for a long time now and you know I was never really an Atwood," Ryan said, shutting his wallet and paying the tab.

Ryan drove Trey home and said his goodbyes.

"See ya, Ry," Trey said putting his hand out for Ryan to shake and he did.

"Take care," Ryan said and Trey turned to go up to the house.

Ryan was about to turn to leave too when Trey turned back to him.

"Hey, look Ry, I heard about-"

"Don't. Don't you ever talk about her," Ryan snapped and then turned to get in his car.

Ryan pulled out, looking back at Trey in the rear view. Ryan would be forever connected to Trey because they were blood, but he was glad that Trey wasn't in his life all the time; he wouldn't be able to handle it. He would be too worried that Trey would make him screw up.

Ryan went back to his hotel for the night and then left Saturday morning for home. He stopped at Sandy and Kirsten's house first meeting Emma, Ian, Noah and his wife, Aubrey, there too.

Ian and Sophie got the first hugs and then ran off to play again. Emma had kissed and hugged him tight, whispering to him, "I love you, Mumble, you okay?" Ryan just nodded against her. "I love you too, babe."

Kirsten was next, kissing his cheek and hugging him for a long time. "You okay?" she had whispered. "I am now, I love you, mom." Kirsten kissed his forehead and hugged him again. "I remember when you weren't much of a hugger," Ryan laughed softly, making Kirsten do the same. Kirsten pulled away smiling the smile that had the power to fix everything, as she wiped at her eyes.

Noah and Aubrey were up next; Ryan kissed Aubrey's cheek and gave her a quick hug. Noah shook his hand and pulled him in for a hug. "Glad you made it back okay, Ry," Noah said clapping Ryan on the back like always before breaking the embrace. Ryan smiled and nodded.

Last was Sandy, he pulled him in for a tight hug and held him. When a thump and a cry came from the other room, Emma and Kirsten went to see what had happened and Noah and Aubrey went to check on dinner; when Ryan was sure he was alone with Sandy, he let his walls crumble as he buried his face in Sandy's shoulder, letting the shakes and sobs start. "It's okay, I got ya, kid, and I'm not going anywhere."

Ryan cried for the mother he had lost, the pain she caused or could have prevented but didn't. He cried for his brother who he had once trusted with his life. Cried for the boy that he used to be and the life that he had just finally said goodbye to.

**Again, thanks for reading!**


	3. Howdy

**Early in Ryan and Noah's friendship**

**I do not own the OC but I do own Noah :)**

**No beta so mistakes are mine!**

Kirsten had tried to get Ryan to live at the house and just travel to campus, but Ryan wanted the full college experience. But after some persuading from Sandy and after Ryan promised to come for dinner once a week, Kirsten gave up her fight.

A few weeks later, Ryan received his dorm assignment and found out his roommate was some guy from Texas.

Ryan walked down the hall on move-in day, to find his dorm room while Sandy and Kirsten finished unloading his stuff. When Ryan found his room, his roommate was already there. He was a tall guy with broad shoulders and big muscles. The guy stopped unpacking the box that he was working on and turned to Ryan. "Hey, Noah Walker," he said sticking out his hand for Ryan to shake.

Ryan smiled and shook his hand, "Ryan Atwood."

"Good to meet you, what side do you want?" Noah clapped Ryan on the back, almost pushing Ryan over with his strength.

Ryan shook it off and laughed, "Remind me never to get in a fight with you."

Noah laughed; it was deep and whole heartedly, "Sorry about that, buddy."

"It's okay… ah… I don't care what side, whatever you want, I'll take the other," Ryan shrugged.

Noah nodded and threw his back pack on the left bed; Ryan threw his stuff on the right.

The rest of the day found Ryan, Sandy, Kirsten, Noah and his mom, Laura, unpacking and setting up the room. When they were mostly done, Kirsten invited Noah and Laura over to the house for dinner.

"So Noah, what are you majoring in?" Kirsten asked once they sat down at the table.

"Architecture, I've always been really interested in it," Noah smiled.

"Oh boy, was he ever… when he was little, he didn't make simple cabins with his Lincoln Logs; he made mansions," Laura laughed at the memories.

"That's great, Ryan is majoring in architecture too and Kirsten used to run a developmental firm," Sandy said proudly.

"That's awesome! Why did you pick architecture?" Noah asked, he thought he could really like this guy.

"Like you, I've always been interested and I worked a couple summers of construction," Ryan thought they might get along pretty well.

The rest of the night, they shared stories about the families and laughed a lot, everyone seemed to get along really well.

"So do you play sports?" Noah asked a week later.

Ryan was reading a comic that Seth had sent him and Noah was dressed to go for a run, in shorts and a cut off shirt.

"Played soccer a little, but I run and work out," Ryan shrugged.

"I'm going to go play a game of pickup basketball with the guys from 202 and 204, wanna come?" Noah asked at the door.

Ryan thought about it a moment and then nodded, "Just let me change." Ryan hopped up and grabbed shorts and a t-shirt.

"We'll meet you downstairs," Noah said and then left.

From that day forward, Ryan played basketball with Noah and the guys every Thursday night. Ryan and Noah also started running every morning.

As weeks past, Noah and Ryan continued to hit it off, they had a lot in common but were different enough that they didn't clash or grow bored of each other. They had fun but also gave each other space to do their own things.

It was November when Dawn called, close to Thanksgiving; she had been drunk and had yelled at Ryan for turning his back on his family, for causing her to be an alcoholic. She went on for an hour but Ryan had shut down five minutes into it, not listening. After her drunken yelling appeared to be over, he apologized and hung up. Ryan didn't move though, he just sat there, staring at Noah's poster of the Dallas Cowboys.

Ryan was in the same spot, staring at the same poster when Noah came back from class and hour later. Noah right away noticed Ryan's unusual appearance and knew something was wrong.

"Hey man," Noah said, cautiously.

"Hey," Ryan said but it came out a whisper.

"You okay?" Noah asked as he sat down across from Ryan on his own bed.

"Fine."

Noah knew that he was not fine; he could tell in his eyes, there was nothing there, "you wanna talk about it?" Noah asked certainly confused, he had never seen Ryan like this.

Ryan shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Alright, well I'm here, when you do," Noah said and then sat back and pulled out his textbooks.

Ryan was surprised but grateful when Noah gave up so easily, Sandy never would have.

Ryan sighed deeply and lay back on his bed. He stared at the ceiling for the next two hours while Noah did homework, played video games and cleaned up. Noah noticed that Ryan didn't even seem to comprehend that Noah was moving about the room, that Noah was in the room at all.

Noah about jumped out of his skin when Ryan suddenly sat up.

"I'm gonna go for a run and then grab something to eat, wanna come?" Ryan asked as Noah looked at him shocked.

Noah just nodded, not able to form words.

The boys ran six miles to the campus pizza shop; they ate and then walked back.

"You gonna tell me what happened to you today?" Noah asked as they walked.

Ryan shrugged, "Someday."

Noah sighed but nodded, "Anytime you need someone to talk to, I'll listen."

"Thanks, means a lot," Ryan nodded, "Sorry for freaking you out today."

"Ah… it's okay… actually its not, you were pretty scary but hey, if you don't want to talk about it, I understand and I'll respect that," Noah smiled.

Ryan nodded his thanks; Noah didn't know it then but Ryan started really trusting him at that moment. Noah really became his friend that night.

A week later and the week before Thanksgiving, Ryan invited Noah over to the Cohens' for dinner. Noah had been to dinner at the Cohens a few times over the semester. But that night it was a mini pre-thanksgiving; Kirsten called it Noah and Ryan's Thanksgiving since Noah would be leaving for Texas to celebrate with his family.

Ryan wasn't totally recovered from his mother's sharp words; Noah asked him if he could ask Sandy about what had happened, about what caused Ryan to shut down. Noah wanted to know but didn't want to do it without Ryan's permission. It wasn't like Noah was just being nosey and wanted to know; Noah needed to know. He needed to know so he knew how to react if it happened again. Ryan after much thinking and deliberating with Sandy; consented.

The night of their faux turkey day when Ryan went to put Sophie to bed and Kirsten cleaned up; Sandy took Noah into his office. Sandy explained how Ryan came to live with them and how Ryan's life was before; what his family had been like.

Noah was shocked, Ryan had seemed so put together, sure he noticed that Ryan was quieter than most but he just figured he was naturally shy; not that he had a terrible childhood. When Sandy had told Noah that Ryan was abused, Noah felt like he had been punched in the stomach. He had never known anyone that had been abused and he never would have guessed Ryan.

Sure, Noah knew that Ryan had been taken in by the Cohens at an older age but he never thought that it was because Ryan's parents were awful; he had thought that maybe they had died or something. Well, it was definitely something.

Noah felt bad for Ryan as he sat in the back of Sandy's BMW as Sandy drove them back to their dorm. Noah couldn't stop thinking about what Sandy had told him.

"I'm sorry, buddy," Noah said once they were in the room.

Ryan hated that Noah looked at him like a poor puppy, "Don't. Don't make me regret letting Sandy tell you… I don't want you to feel sorry from me… yes, my childhood sucked but it was a long time ago. I'm okay now, I have the Cohens; they are my family. They help me forget and once in a long while, I get a call from my mother, who reminds me. I can handle it, I just shut down when she calls and it just takes me a while to come back when she's done," Ryan explained. "I like you, you're a cool guy, you're my friend but if you continue to look at me like that, I'll move out. I didn't say yes so you could look at me like that, I said yes because I trust you enough to let you in. Okay? Please don't screw it up."

"Sorry, I know it took a lot for you to let me know that stuff… Thanks, I promise, I won't look at you like that anymore. It just took me by surprise and the way that you shut down last week, it spooked me. I'm sorry it happened to you… I'm sorry your parents were jerks. I'm not going to judge you for your past and the only way our friendship is going to change is only the fact that I know now what it means when you look like a zombie. Anytime you need alone time, I'll give it to you, shoot me a text if you want the room to yourself. But if you wanna talk, just know I'm here," Noah said with a small smile.

Ryan nodded, "Thanks, thanks a lot."

Yeah, Ryan was pretty sure Noah was best friend quality.

**Review please! It makes me happy! :))**


	4. The most beautiful smile

**Emma and Ryan's early relationship!**

**Read and review!**

Ryan hadn't ever seen a smile that beautiful before; he was surprised when he looked up and saw her there, holding his books and smiling.

"Are you alright?" she smiled when Ryan stood up straighter and his cheeks reddened. He was really hoping that no one saw what had happened.

"Yeah… ah… thanks," Ryan stuttered as he took his books.

"No problem, that guy was a jerk, I saw what happened… he could have at least stopped and asked if you were okay, are you sure you are alright?" Ryan couldn't help but stare.

"Yeah…. Yeah, I'm fine, thanks again," Ryan gave her a small smile, "the name's Ryan, Ryan Atwood."

"Emma Lincoln," Emma had smiled shyly.

"Nice to meet you, Emma… could I, maybe take you to coffee to thank you?" Ryan asked unsure.

Emma was quiet for a moment, "Sure, that would be nice."

Ryan was in love, he was sure of it, but he laughed inside and shook it off, he just met her, "Great, well I have class now but could I get your number and I'll call ya and set it up."

"Here ya go," Emma said after scribbling her number down on a scrap piece of paper and handing it to Ryan.

"Thanks, I better go, I'm already late… Thank you again and I'll call ya soon," Ryan started walking backwards, smiling at Emma and almost tripping over his own feet.

Emma giggled and Ryan blushed before waving awkwardly and turning to walk normally.

Emma had Ryan all messed up inside, he was flustered and felt like Seth when he first met him but again he shook it off and headed to class.

It was two weeks later before they were able to get coffee together. It was in the morning on a day when they both had afternoon classes. They talked about their majors and the basics of getting to know someone for the next hour.

Emma grew up in Seattle, Washington with her parents, Henry and Faith, and her siblings, Mark and Sara. Emma and her siblings were all adopted; Emma and her little sister at birth and her older brother when he was two. When she was ten, her parents told her that she was adopted and when she wanted to find her birth parents; they helped. From the age of thirteen, her birth parents, Dave and Shelly, were in her life quite a bit. Emma still considers Henry and Faith her parents and Dave and Shelly, family friends.

Emma talked a lot more than Ryan, she talked like Seth but when she spoke, Ryan didn't consider it endless banter; he listened to her whole heartedly. Emma had his full attention all the time.

Ryan filled her in on the short version of his crazy family, promising that if they kept seeing each other, he would give her the long version.

"That was fun, we should do it again," Emma smiled as Ryan walked her to her dorm.

"Maybe we could do dinner next time?" Ryan shrugged and hoped that Emma would agree.

"That'd be nice."

Ryan inwardly did a fist pump, "Great, I'll call you."

"Looking forward to it," Emma smiled as they arrived at her building.

"Me too, have a great day," Ryan said and waved.

"See ya," Emma giggled.

For the next two weeks, Ryan saw Emma almost as much as he saw Noah. They hit it off great, Ryan hadn't felt this way about a girl since Marissa and that scared him a little bit. Emma was so unlike Marissa that it shouldn't have scared him. Emma never needed rescuing and she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She was strong and smart and sweet and Ryan loved her.

"Dude, will you guys just make it official already? You see her and talk to each other enough that you're pretty much dating anyway," Noah laughed one night when Ryan came back from a date with Emma, smiling from ear to ear.

"We're just taking it slow," Ryan smiled and shrugged.

"Yeah… right… if seeing her almost every day is slow, I don't wanna know what your fast is… what's the problem?" Noah laughed.

"Nothing, I just don't want to rush anything."

"Whatever you say, buddy," Noah shook his head and turned back to his paper.

Ryan was shaking his head too as he took off his shoes, "If it helps, I'm thinking about inviting her to family dinner this week," Ryan said matter of fact as he grabbed clothes to go shower.

"There you go, buddy, that's what I like to hear," Noah said like a proud father.

"I'm gonna go shower," Ryan said with a laugh.

The next day, Ryan asked Emma to dinner at the Cohens' and she accepted. The following night found Emma, Noah and Ryan around the Cohens' dinner table.

Noah had been coming to the weekly dinner since last semester when Kirsten invited, or should we say _ordered_ him; saying that he deserved a home cooked meal too. Noah didn't argue.

Like Ryan knew they would, Sandy and Kirsten absolutely loved Emma; it was really hard not to, Emma is pretty fantastic. Emma seemed to really like the Cohens too.

"So what's the deal, kid, how come she's not your girlfriend yet? She's wonderful, what are you waiting for? You need to marry that girl!" Sandy said with a huge smile when the three men went outside on the deck while Kirsten and Emma talked inside.

"Whoa there, Sandy, don't you think you are getting the cart before the horse there," Ryan and Noah laughed.

"I like her… I like her a lot… I just don't know," Ryan shrugged and looked away.

"I don't want to mess it up," Ryan mumbled.

Sandy and Noah had to strain to hear Ryan correctly.

"You know, Sandy, Emma calls him mumble," Noah said and Sandy laughed, "Would you know of any reason why she would do that?"

"Hmm… no, not a one," Sandy said sarcastically.

Ryan laughed a bit, "Sandy, the way I feel about Emma is different from any other girl except for Marissa."

It all made sense to Sandy now, he knew now why Ryan had reservations about going official with Emma.

"They are two opposite people, pretty much, but the feelings are the same… I love her," Ryan explained.

"Ryan, like you said Emma is different from Marissa… I can tell already that your relationship is a whole lot different even now. Emma does not need you to take care of her but she _wants _you to, that's very clear… this is not the same as Marissa and you know that what happened to Marissa was not your fault. Emma is different, the relationship is different, and she deserves a chance. She makes you happy, anyone can see that… Ryan, you deserve to be happy more than anyone," Sandy gave one of his infamous pep talks as Ryan and Noah listened. "Look, kid, the way, I see it is that you and Emma are friends which is something that you and Marissa skipped… you are already ahead. There have been no ex or current boyfriends with whom you have fought, so again, that should tell ya something. Just because your friendship with Emma is fun and stress free does not mean that it's not for you."

"I know, Sandy, I just think I needed to hear it from you for me to really get it," Ryan said with a small smile.

"I'm here, anytime, kid, you know that," Sandy smiled.

That Friday, Ryan took Emma out and asked her to be his girlfriend. Emma said yes without a shadow of doubt. They spent the evening holding hands and walking around campus, talking and laughing. Emma made Ryan laugh all the time; he smiled nonstop when he was with her. Emma made Ryan feel like he was the only man on Earth. He knew that he had to make sure he made her feel like a million bucks everyday of their lives. Ryan wanted to make Emma happy everyday for the rest of his life. He wanted to marry this girl.


	5. Change gonna come

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! Keeps me going!**

**Hope you all like this one ;) I do not own the OC but I do own Emma and Noah. **

Ryan was sitting on the back deck at the Cohens', with Sandy, watching Seth play with Sophie and Julie's son, Max. Kirsten was inside with Julie, Emma and Summer finishing up the little bit of cleaning that was left from celebrating Ryan's graduation party. Ryan and Sandy had been shooed outside with Seth and the kids, two beers in hand.

"Sandy, last week when I said I had a job interview in Portland," Ryan said quietly to Sandy who nodded, "well I actually went to Seattle and asked Henry for his permission to marry Emma."

"Wow, that's great, kid, I told you, you had to marry her," Sandy smiled and patted his back.

Ryan laughed, "yeah, thanks… I wanted to talk to you about something though."

"Sure, kiddo, what is it?" Sandy said, sitting up straighter.

Ryan stole a glance at Seth and the kids, making sure they were out of ear shot and then looked inside to make sure none of the women were coming out.

"There's something I want to do first… do you remember when you told me that you could draw up the papers for me to be a Cohen… I'm ready to do that now, I want to change my name to Cohen, and I want my future family to be Cohens. I said back then that I wasn't a Cohen but I wasn't an Atwood either. But now I know that I've been a Cohen for awhile. Before I make Emma my wife, I want to make sure she gets to be a Cohen too. Can you do that for me?" Ryan asked, looking at his shoes and then up at Sandy; his eyes were full of tears and pride.

"I'd be happy to, kid, I've been waiting for a long time, we all have," Sandy smiled from ear to ear.

Ryan smiled shyly, "I want to surprise everyone including Kirsten and Seth, so can we just keep this between us."

"Of Course, kid, our little secret," Sandy couldn't stop smiling.

"Great, thanks, now all that I have to do is ask Emma and pray that she says yes," Ryan smiled nervously.

"She'll say yes, I have no doubt, she loves you an awful lot to say no," Sandy was still smiling.

"I love her too, more than I've ever loved anyone, she's my whole world," Ryan smiled and took a swig of his beer.

"Ry! Come play!" Sophie interrupted the moment, yelling from the middle of the yard where she and Max were sitting on Seth.

"Help me, brother!" Seth yelled, waving a hand in desperation.

"You better go save him," Sandy laughed.

"I guess," Ryan sighed and then laughed standing and running to rescue his scrawny brother from the two four year olds.

The next day, Ryan drove Noah to the airport so he could fly home to see his family for a month. Noah was going to Texas to spend time with his family, when he returned they were going to start looking for architecture jobs to get their careers started.

Noah's parents supported him, figuring out pretty quickly over the last four years that Noah loved California and weren't surprised at all that he wanted to stay there after graduation. Noah had told them about his and Ryan's plan to start their careers working for someone else, building their foundation and then after a few years, opening their own firm.

The two of them had found an off campus apartment for their last year at college, they planned to keep it now that they graduated.

"So tonight, right, you're gonna do it?" Noah asked when they were saying bye.

"Ah… yeah, tonight, Seth and Summer are going to help," Ryan smiled.

"Awesome, buddy, good luck, she'll say yes, I know it," Noah smiled and clapped Ryan on the back.

"Hope so… I'll let you know, you should probably get going," Ryan said and stuck out his hand.

"Yeah, I'll see ya in a month," Noah said, shaking Ryan's hand and pulling him in for a quick hug.

After seeing Noah off, Ryan went home to get ready for his dinner with Emma. He was borrowing a sail boat from one of his friends that he played basketball with every week. Seth was going to sail it while Emma and Ryan had dinner. Ryan was having Summer pick up their dinner from the restaurant they went to on their first date. She was going to be their waitress and going to be in charge of keeping Seth quiet and out of the way. And then at sunset with the Golden Gate in view, Ryan was going to propose.

Around Five, Ryan called Seth to let him know that he was going to pick up Emma and told him to get to the boat with Summer.

"So are you going to tell me where you're taking me tonight?" Ryan had only told Emma to be ready to go to dinner at 5:30, nothing else.

"We're going to dinner at a place, you've never been before," Ryan smiled as he opened the passenger door for Emma.

Emma just smiled; she knew Ryan was up to something.

Ryan let out a deep breath as he walked around to the driver's side.

"What is this?" Emma asked when Ryan pulled up to the marine.

"Just c'mon, you'll see," Ryan smiled getting out and going to open her door.

Ryan led the very confused Emma to the boat where Seth and Summer were waiting.

"Seth? Summer? What are you guys doing here? What's going on?" Emma was confused but she thought she had an idea of what was happening.

"All aboard, please," Seth smiled and Ryan helped Emma onto the boat.

Ryan took Emma's hand and walked her to the front of the boat where there was a table set for two.

"Oh, Ryan," Emma smiled as Ryan pulled out a chair for her.

Ryan sat across from her as Seth took them out onto the bay and Summer appeared with their food and wine.

"This is…"

"What we had on our first date, from the same place too," Ryan smiled.

"Ryan, what is this?" Emma asked again with a smile.

"Let's just eat, I'll explain it all later," Ryan smiled and then took a bite.

Ryan made small talk as they ate, Emma didn't ask any more questions. Once they were done with their food, they went to the railing and looked out at the bay.

"It's so beautiful," Emma whispered as they watched the sun setting.

"So are you," Ryan smiled and then kissed her.

"Thank you… are you going to tell me now?" Emma asked as they hugged.

"No," Ryan said, pulling away, "but I'm gonna ask," Ryan then went down on one knee.

Emma gasped and smiled.

"Emma Charlotte Lincoln, I love you to the moon and back, I've loved you since the moment I saw you holding my books. As we got to know each other, I fell in love with everything about you. You're so smart and funny and the fact that you have survived my crazy family makes me love you even more. I don't want this to ever end; I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. I don't want to either. Em, will you marry me and make me the happiest guy in the world?" Ryan asked holding open the ring box.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Emma said and Ryan stood, he placed the ring on her finger and then kissed and hugged her.

From the back, Seth and Summer hooted and hollered.

Ryan and Emma laughed, "I'm so glad you said yes," Ryan whispered.

"Me too," Emma laughed, "I love you, mumble!"

**11 months later…**

It was a beautiful spring wedding in Kirsten and Sandy's backyard. It was small only close friends and family. Seth was Ryan's best man, with Noah and Mark as groomsmen. Emma's best friend Allison was her maid of honor, with Summer and Sara as bridesmaids. Emma's dress was a gorgeous ball gown.

Ryan had invited Dawn and Trey but neither showed. He was disappointed but not surprised. Ryan had all the support that he needed and he was getting to marry his best friend, so nothing was bringing him down.

There ceremony was lovely, at the end they kissed, of course.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Ryan has a surprise for you all… I would like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Cohen!" The pastor announced with a smile.

Kirsten was crying Sandy was smiling; everyone was shocked and happy.

**Hope you all enjoyed it! New chapters up soon! Please keep reviewing!**


	6. Babies

**Here's another chapter... in this chapter it takes place in two different periods of time... you'll get it... they next few chapters will be like this (different moments in Ryan's past and present that relate to each other) just to give you some more back story along with new things.**

**As always, I hope you like it and I hope you review! Thanks again!**

"Ryan, I'm late," they had been happily married for two years when Emma came to Ryan after dinner.

Ryan was confused, "Late? What do you mean?"

Emma was standing in front with her hands behind her back; Ryan had been watching the cowboys play the lions when Emma came in smiling.

"We're pregnant!" Emma smiled, "I was like two weeks later so I bought two home tests, they were both positive. I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow, to find out for sure."

Ryan stood up and hugged her, "We're gonna have a baby?"

Emma nodded and smiled, "Are you happy?"

"of course," Ryan smiled and then kissed her.

"Good, because me too."

"When do you want to tell everyone?" Ryan asked as they sat down on the couch.

"I don't want to say anything until we know for sure, we'll tell them after my appointment," Emma said as she cuddled in Ryan's side.

A week later, Emma and Ryan found out they were four weeks pregnant and due October 2nd. They were over the moon about it, that Friday night they gathered at Sandy and Kirsten's house. After dinner, they set up Skype with Seth, Summer and Emma's family.

"What's going on guys?" Sandy asked once everything was set up.

"We have news," Ryan smiled, "Go ahead, Em, do the honors."

"We're gonna have a baby!" Emma announced, excited.

Everyone congratulated them, they were all so happy.

In June, the young couple found out they were expecting a baby boy. The next few months were spent getting their home ready for a baby. Noah and Sandy helped Ryan paint the nursery blue and set up all the furniture.

"You ready for this, brother?" Seth had called Ryan actually to check in on Emma, he wasn't calling to talk all about himself.

"Ah… yeah, I'm excited… a little nervous," Ryan was worried about being a good father.

"You'll be a great dad, no one doubts that… Dude, taking care of people is one of the things you do best… given, though, that he is a little tiny person, I understand your feelings," Seth said with a little laugh.

"Yeah, Seth, he's going to be tiny for awhile, I don't know how good I am with tiny," Ryan agreed.

"Hey, at least you have Emma," Seth shrugged, "So about his name, do you guys have one picked yet… because I was thinking, you know what a great name is-"

"We're not naming him Seth, we have a name but we're not telling anymore until he comes," Ryan interrupted, before Seth could go on.

"Is it Seth? I bet its Seth, right, Ry, you're just joking, it's Seth,"

"It is NOT Seth, you're my brother, I'm not going to name my son Seth, when your name is Seth," Ryan stated clearly.

"Whatever, Bro, that's harsh," Seth whined.

"Yeah okay, I gotta get back to work, I'll talk to ya later," Ryan rolled his eyes.

"Alright, let us know," Seth said and they hung up.

"Ryan! Ryan, it's time!" Emma was shaking him awake.

"Huh? Time? What time is it?" Ryan was out of it as he looked at his alarm clock, it was two in the morning, "Em, its 2:13 in the morning," Ryan said lying back down.

"Tell your son that!" Emma shook him again.

"My son? What?" Ryan looked at Emma for the first time; she was standing in front of him, breathing hard and holding her pregnant belly.

"Oh! My son! It's baby time!" Ryan jumped up, grabbing a t-shirt and shoes.

"How far apart?" Ryan asked as he put on his shoes.

"8 minutes, I've called Dr. Moore, she says to come in now," Emma explained while Ryan got their bags.

On the way to the hospital, Ryan called his parents and Emma's. sandy and Kirsten were meeting them there and Henry and Faith were getting the first flight out.

"Almost exactly four hours later at 6:19 am, Ryan and Emma became parents.

"Is he here? Are they okay?" Faith asked when Ryan came out of the delivery room.

"They are both great, Emma is tired but doing well, we have a healthy baby boy weighing 7lbs 8ozs, 20 inches long, Ian Sandford Cohen is perfect," Ryan smiled.

"Congratulations, daddy!" Kirsten was the first to hug him, then Sandy.

"Means a lot kid, thank you. Congrats!" Sandy said when he hugged him.

"You're welcome, I'm gonna get back in there, they'll be moving her to a regular room soon then you all can see them both," Ryan said and then disappeared.

Hours later when everyone went to get some rest and when Emma was finally resting, Ryan was sitting in the chair beside her bed, holding his son.

"I want you to know, that I'm gonna do my very best for you, I'll always be here. I won't ever let you down, I promise." Ryan couldn't believe how much he loved this little human being that he just met a few hours before. It was a love that he had never felt before and it took over his whole heart. Ryan knew that he had to protect his little boy with all his might.

Life changed for Ryan and Emma after Ian was born, more than they ever thought. But they loved it; they loved every minute of it.

Ryan arrived home after dinner one night; they were having major issues with their new site. He and Noah had spent all day there. By the time, he arrived home it was almost 8:00. Emma was bathing their 20 month old, Ian, getting him ready for bed. She had Ryan's food in the oven to keep it warm, when he opened the microwave to heat it up more, there was a wrapped box. Taking it out, he undid the paper to reveal a home pregnancy test.

"Are you ready to do it all again?" Emma asked from behind him.

"Oh yeah," Ryan smiled, walking over to Emma and hugging her tight.

Ryan didn't think it was possible but he loved Emma even more now that she was a mother. She loved Ian so much and was such a wonderful mother.

"That's good, because I am too and it's happening whether or not we're ready. I have an appointment Thursday morning with Dr. Moore," Emma smiled.

"Where's Ian?" Ryan asked after a quiet moment with his wife.

"playing in his room, he's been waiting for you."

"Hey little man, did you have a good day with Grandma and Sophie?" Ryan asked from his son's doorway.

Ian dropped his toys and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him to his daddy; hugging his legs.

"Daddy! Gamma cooies for me," Ian said excited as Ryan picked him up.

"Grandma made you cookies? Did you help her?" Ryan laughed as Ian nodded his head vigorously.

Kirsten had been watching Ian since Emma went back to work when Ian was eight weeks old. She loved having him and Ian loved being with her.

"Guess what, little man, you're gonna be a big brother," Ryan smiled.

"Huh? Big bruddah?" Ian asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Mommy is gonna have a baby."

"Oh, a baby," Ian said but Ryan knew that he didn't really understand.

They announce to their family the next week and 5 months later, they found out it was a baby girl. Again, Ryan enlisted the help of Sandy and Noah to ready the nursery. They moved Ian out of the nursery and into a room upstairs; they decorated his room in Mickey Mouse and painted the nursery a lilac color.

On March 15th at 3:05 pm, a 6lb 9oz, 19 inches long baby girl was born. Ryan and Emma named her Zoe Marie Cohen after Faith's mother. She was beautiful; Ryan once again felt a new kind of love.

**Remember to review!**


	7. Superman's Kryptonite

**You're gonna hate me... i hate me ;) It is called a beautiful & BUMPY life... so i had to get in some bumpy. But it's a long one and in my opinion a pretty good one. I'll be posting a couple more chapter pretty quickly but then it will be awhile, i have to to write new chapters to keep this thing going. I can't promise anything though, we'll see what happens.**

**Thank you guys for all the amazing reviews, you've kept this one going!**

**I don't OC, Mark does... no beta either!**

**Read! Enjoy! Review!**

Ryan had orders from Kirsten to pick up Seth and Summer from the airport, and then bring them to the house with Emma. Noah and Aubrey were going to watch the kids at Ryan and Emma's house also on orders from Kirsten.

"So what's going on?" Seth asked after they said their hellos and was walking to the car.

"I was going to ask you the same thing… they didn't tell you guys anything either?" Ryan asked, confused.

"No, nothing, Mom called and said that they were calling a family meeting and we needed to come as soon as we could. When I asked what was up, she wouldn't say… what'd she tell you?" Seth explained when they got loaded in Ryan's Rover.

"The same, family meeting and that I was to pick you all up. We're supposed to drop the girls off at my house with Noah and Aubrey and pick up Emma."

"Is Sophie going to the meeting?" Seth asked of his nine year old sister.

"No, Noah picked her up on the way to my house," Ryan replied.

"Something's wrong, if Sophie is not at the family meeting, they're going to tell us something bad," Seth said, too quiet.

Ryan and Summer didn't object because they knew Seth was right. Sandy and Kirsten were going to tell them something that they didn't want to tell Sophie at the same time.

The only noise to be heard on the way to Ryan's was the twins' two year old gibber gabber.

"Sophie, do you know what is going on with mom and dad?" Ryan asked while Seth and Summer got Grace and Elle settled.

"No, Ry, I don't know, but they've been acting really weird all week," Sophie replied, looking concerned.

"Weird, how?"

"They've been really quiet, whispering about something important, but when I come in the room they stop and smile… I'm really worried Ry, Mya said that is what her parents did before they told her they were getting a divorce… I don't want mom and dad to get a divorce, Ry; they're not going to right?" Sophie was on the verge of tears.

"Hey, hey, no way… we may not know what is going on but I do know that they are _not_ getting a divorce… I promise," Ryan hugged Sophie tightly.

"You're positive?" Sophie asked, looking up at her strong big brother with sad eyes.

"Positive," Ryan smiled and Sophie hugged him again.

Sophie was a perfect blend of Sandy and Kirsten; she looked like Kirsten but had the personality of both of her parents. She's spoiled but she wasn't a brat. Sophie cared about everyone and stood up for the little guy. She was the girl that everyone liked to be around.

"Everything will be okay, they're not getting a divorce," Ryan said when Sophie pulled away.

"Promise?"

"Promise," Ryan wished he believed his own words, but the truth was; he didn't know what was going to happen.

"You guys ready?" Seth asked later when they pulled up to their parents' house.

"Ready as we'll ever be," Summer said and Ryan and Emma nodded.

The young Cohen couples walked up the sidewalk without a word, not even from Seth. There were no jokes, no inappropriate comments; Seth knew that it was bad even though he didn't even know what "_it_" was.

The elder Cohens welcomed their children with forced smiles and tight hugs.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked when Sandy hugged him.

"After dinner, we'll explain," Sandy said to them all.

Dinner was quiet even with Kirsten's empty attempts to get her sons talking. But the boys' answers were short and to the point.

Finally, after dinner was over and the table was cleared, the Cohens gathered in the family room. Ryan, Emma, Seth and Summer all sat together on the couch while Sandy and Kirsten stood in front of them.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Seth finally asked, "We know something is… you two are acting too weird.

"Yeah… Sophie thinks you are getting a divorce?" Ryan asked too.

"No, no, of course not, never," Kirsten shook her head right away.

"I went to the doctor last week because I've been sick and short of breath. He did some tests and we received the results this week," Sandy started to explain but his normal confidence wasn't there, "I have cancer, lung cancer in the upper part of my right lung."

Seth was speechless as tears started to well up in his eyes, Summer held his hand tighter.

Ryan was shutting down, trying to build up his walls as Emma rubbed his back.

"What do the doctors say? What's the plan?" Emma was the first one able to form words, being the nurse that she was.

"They're optimistic, we've caught it before its spread farther… the plan is chemo and radiation for a month or so and then surgery to remove the part of the lung. Then more chemo and radiation to make sure they get it all," Sandy replied, looking at his boys, who were both too quiet.

"When do you start?" Seth asked but it came out a broken whisper.

"Next week is the first round," Sandy answered with his arm around his wife.

"How do you have lung cancer? You don't smoke?" Seth asked.

"I used to, a lot and I was around it all the time with your Nana. The doctors say that it's not abnormal for nonsmokers to get lung cancer especially at my age," Sandy explained.

"It's treatable?" Ryan asked, not looking up.

"Yes, but it's a long process, two months of chemo and radiation and then surgery and then another month of radiation and two of chemo," Sandy replied.

They all sat together, quietly talking only once in awhile.

The drive back to Ryan's was silent. Noah took Sophie home, seeing her brothers didn't calm her nerves any, but they wouldn't say anything.

After the kids were in bed and asleep, Seth and Summer went out on the back deck while Emma and Ryan were in the kitchen.

"I can't believe he's sick," Seth said quietly as Summer held him.

"It'll be ok, the doctors say it's treatable," Summer tried to help.

"My dad has cancer," Seth was trying to make himself believe it.

"What do you want to do? We could move back if you wanted? We could do that?" Summer suggested.

Seth thought about it, "We could, to be closer; I can write Atomic County here."

"And GEORGE has places everywhere, I mean, it is California where they recruited me, I can work for them here," Summer agreed, "It'll be good for the girls too, to be near their family."

They were quiet as they thought about the move.

"He's gonna be okay, right? I mean, he's my dad, he has to be… he's the litigator… he's like Superman and cancer is his kryptonite. But he's going to beat the kryptonite, right?"

"I hope so, if anyone can, it's Sandy Cohen," Summer said sadly.

Seth nodded and laid his head on Summer's shoulder.

"Ryan, will you talk to me, please," Ryan had been sitting at the island for the last ten minutes, staring at the fridge, not saying anything.

"Ryan, please, you're scaring me," Emma begged as she moved directly in front of Ryan.

Ryan didn't know how to talk about this; he never thought he would have to talk about how he felt about San… about his dad having cancer. No, he didn't know how to talk about this.

"I can't, Em, I'm sorry… I need some air," Ryan suddenly stood and before Emma could react, he was out the front door.

"Ryan, wait!" Emma ran after him.

Ryan was sitting on the steps of the front porch with his face in his hands.

Emma slowly and quietly sat down next to him, wrapping her arm around his.

"I'm here, when you're ready," Emma whispered and then laid her head on his shoulder.

Emma stayed by Ryan's side while he processed what he was feeling and thinking. They stayed that way for almost a half hour.

"I love you, thank you for putting up with my craziness… thank you for always being here," Ryan startled Emma when he started talking.

He moved so he was looking at her and then kissed her on her forehead.

"Always," Emma smiled, "Are you ready now?"

Ryan was quiet again, "Sandy may not have raised me, he may not be my father but he's been my dad for awhile now… I don't want to lose him… I can't lose him," Ryan sighed.

"I wouldn't be here with you if it weren't for Sandy… stealing that car was the best thing that could have happened to me back then. Sandy saved my life and now he's sick and there is nothing I can do about it… I need to fix it, to fix him… and I can't… I hate it," Ryan explained, full of emotion as Emma listened quietly, with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I know how much you love him… but you're not going to lose him, the doctors caught it in time, Sandy is a very healthy man otherwise, he's gonna be okay, he's gonna get better, it's just going to take time… and you can help him, he'll need everyone's support and strength," Emma encouraged, holding Ryan's hand.

Ryan nodded, "you're amazing."

Sandy started chemo and radiation the next Wednesday and continued it twice a day, four days a week for the next two months. He was sick a lot and was always in pain.

Seth and Summer moved back to California three weeks after they found out about the cancer, the four young east coast Cohens stayed with the four young west coast Cohens for a week while papers were finalized on their new townhome in San Francisco. They were all glad that it was only a week, having four children under 3 and a skinny man child was a bit crazy.

Emma and Ryan enrolled Ian and Zoe into the same daycare as Grace and Elle since Kirsten was so busy with Sandy. Ian was not happy but after a week, he had made enough friends that it was okay.

Three months after the diagnosis, Sandy went in for surgery to remove the portion of his right lung that was cancerous. The surgery was successful with no issues; Sandy was in the hospital for two weeks.

It was hard for everyone to see Sandy so sick, his dark hair and bushy eyebrows that he was known for were gone. His young grandchildren were scared of him at first, one year old, Zoe, didn't like his new look at all, She wouldn't go anywhere near him. Ian and the twins warmed up to him eventually when they realized that it was still their funny grandfather underneath his scary appearance.

His kids hated how bad he looked; they too had to remind themselves that it was still their dad.

Sandy's sense of humor was still intact, it just wasn't constant, he was too weak to be funny but he tried.

At least once a week, Seth and Ryan kicked Kirsten and Sophie out of the house to have some fun. The boys took care of Sandy if he was too sick to do anything but on his better days, they would watch movies and play video games. Sandy was finally good at the games that Seth and Ryan had been playing for years.

Seth was quieter then he had ever been before, in the months of treatments. It was scary and sad to see Seth so silent, Summer hated it. She hated everything about Sandy being sick except their move back to California; she loved that. Summer didn't like seeing anyone she loved hurt, especially not the Cohens.

Ryan visited the punching bag almost nightly and held Emma close every night. Emma kept him afloat with help from Noah, making sure he didn't shut down. But Ryan knew that he couldn't shut down, his family needed him. His kids didn't need to see their father like that, ever. He would not shut down.

Kirsten was holding strong on the outside while she tried not to crumble on the inside. Her husband, her best friend, the love of her life was sick, very sick and all she wanted was a drink. But she didn't…she couldn't do that to her family; not to her boys, not again and never to her daughter and grandchildren. Her husband and family needed her to be strong and sober. Kirsten wouldn't drink again but that didn't stop her boys from checking on her well-being as much as Sandy's.

Sophie was hurting like everyone but was holding her own pretty well. She helped with whatever she could and she made her dad thousands upon thousands of cards and pictures. She made it her mission everyday to put a genuine smile on Sandy's face, she never failed. Every so often, one of her brothers would take her for a night or two to get her out of the house but Sophie wouldn't allow it to be any longer then two nights. Because her parents needed her and she didn't want to be away from her dad too long. She was afraid that he might slip away while she was gone, not that Sandy was ever close to death, but Sophie was just scared.

Every one was, but they were surviving, pulling together when things got tough. They were too strong to lose, after all they were the Cohens and they could withstand anything, even kryptonite.

**I didn't kill him, I would never kill him... Sandy is the father that everyone wants, you cant help but love him, at least that is what i think.**

**Thanks for reading! Review!**


	8. WaCo

**Here's a short one... Ryan and Noah time. I hope you like it and remember to review because it makes me happy! Thank you to those that do!**

"Noah, buddy, how ya doing? What's up?" Ryan said when he opened his door to reveal his best friend.

"Hey Ry, I've been better," Noah said walking in, Ryan right away picked up Noah's bad mood but before he could saying anything, little feet came running.

"Uncle Noah!" Ian came running with Zoe following.

As much as Ian looked like Ryan; Zoe looked like Emma. She had wavy brown hair that was growing nicely. Zoe though had Ryan's personality, she was quiet and as sweet as can be.

Noah forced a smile, "Hey littles, how are my favorite kiddos?" he asked as he knelt down to hug Ian and Zoe.

"Good, Daddy is going to build us a play house in the backyard and you're gonna help," Ian smiled.

"Oh I am, huh?" Noah asked Ian but was looking at Ryan.

"Mmhmm, daddy says so," Zoe chimed in with a smile.

Zoe had Ryan wrapped around her tiny two year old finger, like any daddy's little girl. She thought her daddy hung the moon.

"Yeah… ah… I was going to talk to you about that," Ryan smiled innocently.

Noah nodded.

"Will you help?" Ian asked Noah.

"Of course, kiddo," Noah force another smile.

Ryan could tell that there was something wrong with his best friend; he wasn't acting like himself.

"Hey guys, why don't you go help mommy in the kitchen, while Uncle Noah and I talk," Ryan needed to find out why his friend was acting so weird.

"Alright, daddy, c'mon Zoe," Ian whined and then led Zoe out.

"Start talking… what's wrong?" Ryan asked as he led Noah to his office.

"Aubrey left," Noah replied quietly.

"What? Why?" Ryan was surprised.

Noah had been married to Aubrey for six years; they dated for almost a year before they married. Aubrey was the daughter of Noah's boss at his first firm, she was daddy's spoiled little girl who got whatever she wanted and she wanted Noah then. She always felt that she was entitled to something. Noah fell for her long legs and her smooth words not to mention her beautiful features, any man would have. Noah loved Aubrey for reasons that Ryan didn't understand, he knew that Aubrey never really loved Noah the way he deserved; never the way Noah loved her anyway.

"She's been having an affair; she says it's been going on for the last eight months. She says it's my fault because I want kids so bad and she doesn't… she can't handle the pressure… whatever… he's some doctor across the bay," Noah explained.

Ryan was pissed, he never really liked Aubrey but he tried to for Noah's sake.

"I'm sorry, buddy," Ryan sighed.

"Me too… I just can't believe that I didn't know… she's been seeing another guy for almost a year and I had no idea," Noah said looking away from Ryan and out the window.

"It's not your fault, you didn't do this, all you did was love her," Ryan felt bad for Noah; he wanted to talk his pain away.

Noah just nodded, "I should have saw it coming, we haven't been truly happy for a few years. We were just going through the motions. Six years of marriage and only the first three years were really great," Noah said still looking out the window as if he were remembering something.

"It's been six years since we opened WaCo too, isn't that crazy… I can't believe it, we made it… the only good thing that has happened for me in the last six years… we're successful and popular, never thought we would do so well," Noah said with the first real smile of the night.

"I know, so weird to think it's been that long, we're pretty awesome," Ryan agreed.

Six years, since they asked Sandy and Kirsten to help them start their architecture company. WaCo, the city where Noah is from in Texas and the first two letters of each of their last names, that's how they came up with their name. WaCo Design and Architecture, they had designed and built homes and commercial buildings for over 2,000 clients in the last six years. The critics were calling them the next big thing; everyone was spreading the word about them within their first year. They were a hit.

"Guys, dinner, Noah, are you staying?" Emma poked her head in, interrupting their talk.

"Yeah sure," Noah shrugged.

"We'll be right there, Em," Ryan said with a smile.

"Okay, hurry, before the natives get restless," Emma winked.

"At least I still have WaCo and you guys," Noah said with a sigh.

"You deserve better than her anyway, I'm sorry, Noah, but I've always thought that. You deserve someone who values who you are and what you want too, not someone who just cares about what you can do for them. Aubrey was too selfish for you… I'm sorry, she hurt you, I really am, but in the end, I think this will all be a good thing… you'll see," Ryan said and for a change, he patted Noah on the back.

"I guess, Ry," Noah shrugged and followed Ryan to the kitchen, "How's Sandy?"

"He's doing okay, the chemo is really doing him in but he only has a few more weeks then he'll be done. The doctors are really optimistic," Ryan said as they walked.

"That's good," Noah said quietly.

Two months later, Noah's divorce was final, they split the money evenly but Noah got the house since Aubrey committed adultery. Noah was slowly putting himself back together with help from Ryan, the Cohens and his own family. He felt free for the first time in six years.

**Next chapter is longer and better ;)**


	9. Chrismukkah Adoptshukkah

**This chapter will jump through the past a little bit as Ryan remembers his Chrismukkahs with the Cohens and Emma and the kids. I like it and I hope you all do too. **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

Ryan was sitting in Sandy's home office with the newest member of his family. Ryan smiled down at his new son, it was his first Chrismukkah and everyone was at the elder Cohens' home celebrating Jesus and Moses and Wyatt.

Ryan and Emma decided early in their relationship that they wanted to adopt, to pay-it-forward since they were both adopted.

Almost two years ago, they decided it was time; they could afford it without pushing anything. They thought extra hard about it, if it was really the right time with everything going on with Sandy and the big C. They came to the conclusion that it would be good and Sandy wanted them to, so they filled out the paper work. Almost a year later, they received a call about a 3 week old drug addicted baby boy named Wyatt Lorenzo Rodriguez. They need a foster family until his mother got clean, no one expected her to. Emma and Ryan discussed it thoroughly before saying yes. It was going to be a challenge for all of them; Wyatt was going through with drawls from cocaine. He would shake and cry all Ryan and Emma wanted to do was take his pain away. Wyatt was an innocent child, suffering because of his mother's mistakes.

Wyatt's mom surprised everyone when she got clean when Wyatt was four months old, after a few weeks of visitation, Wyatt was returned to his mother. Ryan and Emma were heartbroken; they had fallen in love with Wyatt.

Just when they were going to pull their paperwork, their social worker called; Wyatt's mom relapsed after only a month. Her rights were terminated and Wyatt was again placed with Ryan and Emma, he was underweight and sick. They got him healthy again and started the adoption process.

At 8 months old and just in time for Christmas, Wyatt became a Cohen officially becoming Wyatt James Cohen.

Seth had dubbed that Chrismukkah, the Chrismukkah Adoptshukkah, in honor of Wyatt. The house was full of people; Seth and Summer were there, of course, with their four year old twins and their three month old, Liam Robert Cohen. It was nice having them back in California; they bought a house in San Francisco two years ago when they all found out that Sandy was sick. They wanted to be close and their careers let them work anywhere. Seth could write Atomic County anywhere and Summer was recruiting for GEORGE in California. Everyone was happy about them being back.

Faith and Henry made the trip down with Sara and her family. Noah was there with his girlfriend of three months, Molly. Ryan liked her better than he ever liked Aubrey, he could tell that she really cared for Noah and made him really happy. The Cooper-Bullets came up too. Julie and Bullet were on again/off again couple but always stayed great friends. Kaitlin had went to UCLA and studied fashion design, she married a movie director named Adam, a few years back and was expecting their first child. Even though, Max is Frank's son, he rarely sees him. Frank comes in and out of Max's life; he was never made out to be a full-time dad. Bullet loved Max like a son and Max loved him too. Julie was finally doing right by her kids and for once in her life was taking care of herself and was living comfortably by her own hand. Ryan was really happy for them and sometimes wished that Marissa was still alive to see it.

Everyone was having a wonderful time, Wyatt though half way through the evening, became fussy from all the attention he was receiving. Ryan snuck away to find a quiet place for them both to relax. He found Sandy's office, turned on his desk lamp and sat back in the comfy chair.

Ryan was rocking Wyatt when he spotted the picture of his own first Chrismukkah on Sandy's desk, it brought on a whole bunch of Chrismukkah memories.

"Chrismukkah? What is that? That's not a holiday," That was Emma's first reaction to Seth's wacky holiday, the first time Ryan had ever told her about it.

"Please, don't ever let Seth hear you say that, ever, he'll go on forever… keep it to yourself, Em, please!" Ryan had all but begged.

It was their first Christmas together, Ryan had explained to her how Seth came up with it and all its rules.

He told her about his first Chrismukkah and how they watched Over the Top. Ryan told her about the Chrismukkah that Summer had saved when they found out Lindsey was Kirsten's half sister. He even told her about his Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkuah and how embarrassing it was. Ryan told her about his weird mini-coma Chrismukkah too.

Emma had listened and laughed as Ryan told her about all his Chrismukkahs and how it really did have twice the strength of any normal holiday. By the time that he finished and after some extra help from the founder, Emma was convinced that Chrismukkah was a holiday.

"What are you doing in here? It's the middle of the night?" Emma asked Ryan, who had been checking on two month old, Ian, but now was sitting in the living room staring at the Christmas tree.

"It's his first Chrismukkah, I was just thinking about your first and how thankful and lucky I am to have both of you in my life," Ryan smiled as Emma came to sit by him.

"We're pretty lucky to have such a great man like you," Emma whispered and then kissed him.

The two of them sat staring at their lit tree; Emma laid her head on Ryan's shoulder as she cuddled into him. She loved him so much and thanked God everyday for the man he had given her. He was so strong and so loving.

"I can't wait until he understands what is really happening… can't wait until he comes bouncing in our room way too early to open presents," Emma smiled.

"Oh, I think I can wait for that one," Ryan smiled and Emma laughed.

"Mommy! Daddy! It's Chrismukkah! We need to open presents! Now," Ian was jumping up and down on his parents' bed at 5 o'clock in the morning.

"Ugh," Ryan said turning over to see his two year old daughter standing inches from his face while Emma sat up to corral the four year old.

Zoe was half asleep, she was not a morning person, like her father, but she tried really hard to be on Christmas.

"Daddy, its Chis-maha…" She crinkled her face into a frown at her mispronunciation of the word, "Chris-kama… Chrismurka… Chrimukas…" Zoe stuck out her bottom lip and crossed her arms in frustration.

"Chris-mu-kah," Ryan helped her with a smile as he picked her up and put her in bed with him as Emma ushered a very excited Ian out.

"Don't leave me alone with him too long, you two, if you take too long, he'll be opening everyone's presents," Emma warned with a wink, she loved her quiet husband and equally quiet daughter. They were so sweet together; seeing Ryan with Zoe made her heart smile.

Ryan laid with Zoe, talking quietly and snuggling; he knew that it wouldn't be long before she wouldn't want to cuddle with him so he took advantage of it every chance that he could.

"There you are… what are you doing? Something wrong?" Sandy found Ryan in his office with the newest Cohen.

This Chrismukkah, other than Wyatt, Ryan was most thankful that he still had Sandy. It was a polar opposite of last Chrismukkah, where it was just the Cohens; they spent the holiday relaxing and watching Sylvester Stallone movies. Sandy wasn't strong enough for a big celebration, the chemo and radiation were tearing him up and all he wanted to do was enjoy his family. The day after, the women took the kids out shopping while Seth, Sandy and Ryan spent the day on the couch watching a collection of movies that Seth had put together. It was a Chrismukkah that Ryan would never forget. But a year later, Sandy was in full remission and was back to his talkative goofy self. Ryan and the rest of them were so relieved.

"Just remembering Chrismukkah pasts… he seemed a little overwhelmed so I brought him in here to calm him down," Ryan nodded as he looked down at his sleeping son.

Ryan had been gone an hour when Sandy had found him, "Calm him down or you?" Sandy smiled.

Ryan returned the smile, "both, I guess."

"You were never one to be the center of attention," Sandy laughed.

"Yeah… well, you and Seth handle it just fine for everyone, so there is no need for me to," Ryan chuckled.

Sandy nodded with a laugh as he looked at his newest grandson, "He's pretty great, huh?"

Ryan looked at Wyatt, "yeah, he is… I'm glad he's finally ours."

"He's always been yours… you and Emma are the only parents he knows, it's just official now," Sandy smiled.

"No one can ever take him away again, he's totally ours," Ryan added.

Sandy nodded and smiled as he remembered back to the first time he ever felt that way about Ryan. How proud he was of the man that Ryan had become and the life that he had built for himself.

"I'll cover for you a little longer, but I don't know how much longer I can hold off your wife let alone mine."

Ryan laughed as Sandy stood, "You'll think of something, you're Sandy Cohen."

"The one and only," Sandy smiled, "and you're stuck with me," he added as he left.

"I wouldn't want it any other way," Ryan whispered to himself.

Ryan never would have guessed on his first Chrismukkah that he would be sitting here 15 years later, still with the Cohens, as a Cohen. It seemed like a whole life time ago and in a way, it was. Back then he would never have imagined this life that he had now, never imagined having a wife like Emma or their children together. Ryan knew that he would never have gotten where he was without the Cohens, it was impossible. They didn't just give him a place to live or an education; they truly loved and cared about him, they taught him to trust and dream again. The man he was today was because of them and he would never forget it.

"Hey Ry, babe, everyone is getting ready to leave," Emma come in quietly, a half hour later, interrupting his thoughts.

"Ok… I'm coming," Ryan sighed as he sat up, trying not to wake the baby in his arms.

"You ok?" Emma came closed her and looked at him closely, trying to decide if he was alright.

"Yeah, yeah, I was just remembering how lucky I am to have the great family that I do," Ryan smiled softly and then kissed Emma on the cheek.

Emma smiled and then took Wyatt from him, not waking him at all. Wyatt just readjusted to cuddle into his mom.

"I love you, Em, thank you for being my wife," Ryan whispered and smiled.

"I love you too, mumble, and thank you!"

**Review please and I will try my best to get new chapters up!**


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